Recently, I witnessed something so troubling I believed only existed in afternoon soap dramas, I did not know how to react to the sorry situation. Never have I interrupted a lovers’ quarrel; however, in this surround sound situation, where their toddler could be traumatized by this memory, it took all dignity for me not to say more than what I did to both of them.

First, if this person I deeply love is reading my post, I am not going to apologize rather I want you to read because I am not going to repeat myself.

Repeatedly, you complained you’ve had enough of “this” for the past four years. How much longer are you going to allow “this?” My response to you that day will not change. Let it go and live a better life. They say fear and love give off the same smell and illicit similar senses because the same center in your brain is stimulated. That is not love you feel for him. I will bet all my money that it’s fear confusing your emotions, my dear. Well, I am afraid that when I saw you on the floor holding onto him and would not let go of what masquerades for a man nowadays, I could not help but be angry at you. You have fallen in your own grave. Now, it is time for you to find that strength I know is inside and dig yourself up. Pray harder, sister.

Especially when necessary, many a girl fail to take a break or a breather because of the possibility that he is “the one” or her “soul mate.”  Please know now, if you didn’t already, that you cannot change anyone. This dream dangerously feeds a myopic view that he is the center of her life.

A real woman is confident and not governed by fear of losing any man, because she knows the real price to pay is when she loses herself.

“Almost immediately, women give themselves up in small ways. The cumulative effect of these subtle concessions; however, is what amounts to feeling depleted.

Here’s the cycle:

  • She develops a myopic view that what he gives is absolutely vital.
  • Because of this fantasy, she gives up everyday needs [most of the time without realizing].
  • She feels more and more drained but continues to try harder, believing that he’ll be the one to make her fulfilled again.
  • He senses her willingness to exert herself, and relaxes what he gives even more.
  • She senses this and works even harder to jump through hoops.
  • The cycle gets worse, as she becomes more and more depleted.

This is why she is exhausted and constantly proclaims she is tired of this. If you are going to resent something after you give it, don’t give it. If you truly value yourself, give only what feels comfortable to give. This will enable you to stay firmly planted with both feet on the ground.”

Think and remember that it is not about a boy who says he’s your man. You are awesome; so show your son how to be the right man… not the wrong one.

This is YOUR LiFE… and it’s too short and precious to waste.

You survived before you met him… sure as hell, you will live even better after him.

Advertisements