diLo ("( 'o', ) aJ gazmen
I love the people I work with… Well, the funny ones.
Kasper: “How you doin?” [Joey from "Friends" NY accent]
aJ: “Ready to bring it…” [We throw P90X signs]
Kasper: “I like that whole bedroom hair and glasses you got going… Makes you look eligible.”
aJ: “Um… I rolled out of bed, didn’t brush my hair constantly afflicted by humidity, and no contacts allowed due to conjunctivitis [pink-eye].”
Kasper: “Sexy!”
Sadly, some people mistakenly believe that their loneliness is a product of another person’s abscence.
Early this morning, a girl friend I have not heard from since she got married two years ago woke me from my designated sleep-in Munday. Although my mobile’s screen’s still selectively showing numbers or recognizing contacts whenever it feels like it, I decided to answer the call. Because I could barely piece together the words I did understand in the midst of bawling , I decided to meet her up for brunch. Never did I expect her husband to be the one that would cheat on his pregnant wife and divorce her through text messaging. His reason was because he realized afterwards that she is not what he needed in his life.
“Wow,” was all I could mutter at first. Then, you know me… I preached strength and forgiveness. Honestly, what’s done is done. Etc, etc, etc… As I spent almost an hour listening to her story [wallowing in woe, lamenting her loss], she asked why I was not offering words to console her or “saying shit” about him at all. For those of you who know me, I am sure you can picture my face at how annoyed I was with her moment of stupidity. We all make mistakes; ergo, shut up and move on.
Am I supposed to say forget him? You’re better than him? What for? You should know that, already.Why waste my time and energy, too? You’ve probably dehydrated yourself from crying and not eating. He left you three months ago. He stopped thinking of you when he had that affair. Obviously, he does not want you; so, why give him any more of you?
That made her stop crying instantly. At first she was mad, but if she was looking for sugarcoated sweetness, she called the wrong person. Ivory towers belong in fairy tales that we believed in childhood; we’re in adulthood now. I’m sorry, but I think we need real people around us who’ll tell the truth in your face. How many times are we all going to get hurt? Oh, plenty and maybe too many times to count.
“The world breaks EVERYone,” Hemingway once wrote, “and afterward, many are strong at the broken places.” A broken heart is simply a heart that has a chance to heal and become stronger. Right now, it is bleeding, just bleeding… All wounds must go through pain and inflammation before it can heal. I told her to put a band-aid on it and quit over-emphasizing on that bastard.
Eventually, we all experience that being in love is unexpectedly intoxicating, that special someone so compelling, that lovers often drop some of the obligations and rules that dominated their lives before they met.
Hence, why I shall stay single forever… that’s another post.
I’ll only do one thing: keep you in my prayers, my friend. Live and stay strong =D
After enjoying such a superb soap,
I was captured by the poet Hyun Jong Jung ’s
poem entitled ‘all moments be flower buds.’
I sometimes have regrets for
that incident could have been a treasure.
That person at the time,
That thing at the time,
could have been a jewel
I should have been more deeply involved,
I should have asked and spoken more,
I should have listened more intently
I should have loved more passionately
Like a mute,
Like a deaf,
Did I let them pass?
Just stood idly,
Like an absent-minded person
I should have loved that moment more ardently
Every moment is everything.
A flower bud
that will blossom as much as my ardor!
.
literally means
“dried fish,”
a Japanese expression
used in one of my fave J-drama “Hotaru No Hikari”
to describe the main character,
a woman in her 20s
who has renounced the pursuit of romance.
Thots on turning thirty:
that makes me a “dried up woman?”
Someone said once:
“that women are like Christmas cakes. After the 25th, they belong in bargain bins.”
Further added:
“Almost the 31st… pretty soon it’ll pass midnight and that’s a new year for you.”
Allow me to pimp-slap that fool.
I try not to live in fear; however, AGiNG seriously scares me to death.
Since I turned 13, I was anxious about all the major markers: 21, 25, 30, 40.
Childhood memories of my hunched over maternal great grandmother in her 90’s left me with quite an impression that summer.
Instead of listening to the exposed roots of an ancient tree’s advice, I stared at her sun spots and skin tags, wondering what was written in those wrinkles around her eyes.
Taking care of the neglected elderly of America did not help either.
Before, I used to proudly brand myself forever 21…
Wenzdai even gave me a James Avery charm for shamelessly saying so.
Today, I told classmates I shall be 25 for the next few years,
regardless of how many times the youngins will try to correct me.
bwahahahahaha
I’m Asian, I can pull it off, right?
Hey, isn’t the 80’s horribly com!ng back?
Gosh, I just had a RDA flashback o.O
[McGyver theme song blares in the back]
I talked to someone earlier today for 2.5 hours 0.o
regarding how hard it was to find the other half of your heart.
HUH?!?!?!? WTF!
Why would you believe that stupid Tom Cruise line, “you complete me.”
She got hurt, then mad
when I told her that it is a problem to think you need to have another person to complete yourself.
That’s a Hallmark Cards ploy…
As if i didn’t have enough to deal with in school…
Not really interested in finding my soul mate right now, anyway.
I also don’t understand why getting married before 30 is such a big deal in Asian culture.
At my sister’s wedding, the host pointed out that
“I’m single and very available…”
Broadcasted in English then Chinese!
That was most embarrassing (´＿｀*) “
Honestly, I thot that I’m actually a better person for not having kids or a husband.
bwahahahaha, I’m just glad my mother doesn’t stress me as much as hers.
Shoot me if my K-or-J-drama addict self still blindly believe that Daniel Henney 
is going to propose to me one day ;P
drooooLing @ his hotness teeheehee
Ergo, unless that happens… access denied!
She said that men are too difficult to deal with.
I don’t think that it was supposed to be easy.
Not enough flavors would prove to be too boring.
Remember, I always said:
to go ahead and collect
and collect enough
until you can select >____<
Of course, I don’t mean you ought to go on a dating frenzy or sleep around.
I just want you’all to experience, learn, try, and taste something new.
There is no guarantee, for nothing is perfect… gablah blah blah…
Your soulmate is not supposed to make you super happy, he/she is supposed to challenge you so you can grow to the best you can be.
That’ll mean “discussions”, compromise, head pains, heartaches, and sacrifice.
Here’s what I strongly believe:
Dating = “Meet” Market
Although it might be shocking to know I’m conservative when it comes to relationships,
you must go shopping for the right person.
In order to meet “the one” for you, you have to talk to a lot of people, make a lot of offers, counter offers, negotiate, reject, and accept.
I seriously wanted to start handing out application forms because I was getting tired getting all these losers and a**holes.
Why shouldn’t I have prerequisites for a serious merger?
In the end, I think I’ve made a pretty smart choice by taking a bold step forward.
And, please, DO NOT sell yourself short.
First dates or convos are supposed to be like first interviews.
So what if I choose not to have a second one?
You deserve to be picky; we’re not penguins.
Imagine GOD loves you very, very much…
Think about the level of unconditional love He has for you and that no one else can come close.
If you keep that in mind, maybe you’ll use your head more than your heart.
[I should listen to my advice, eh?]
Why do single people sit at home and wait for the phone to ring?
Friend, I doubt “your prince charming” is dropping from heaven.
You ain’t Brad Pitt or Angelina Jolie, right?
You’d best go to the market,
even it it’s only the supermarket or Wally’s World lang.
Everything in life is a process.
Act now, but wisely.
When you’ve reached your goal?
Or when you’ve given up?
Maybe when you look behind?
Or when your past reminds you of your regrets?
When age meets reality?
Or when you forget the promises you made to yourself?
I’ve returned to my restless winter state, like a hibernating bear that stays fully awake rather than sleeping soundly There are endless tasks I keep bumping into as I walk through my self-made messier than usual sty. As I look at my unwrapped Christmas gifts, I burrito roll myself further in my down comforter and wished hard for another week without school. There are stranger scenarios that pop in my head as I close my eyes… I can see my destination, but I want to take another detour that I am aware I cannot afford.
Even if I have pictures which help me recall the past ten years, I feel as if new memories must happen. When I was younger, I pushed very hard to live life, knowing nothing can last forever. Ergo, my you-only-live-once crisis started quite early. Looking at my list of 50 must-complete-before-I-die goals I wrote when I was ten, half remains unchecked. I am tempted to uproot and become spontaneous, like I used to.
The whole time I grew up with manga/anime/shoju, I always thot most fanatics only fantasized over wide-doe-eyed Japanese girls in school uniforms. After befriending a fellow stranded passenger at a stop-over in Japan in 2004 en route to my Southeast Asian Birthday Tour, I was introduced to a manga magazine of Hanazakari no Kimitachi E. Although I didn’t understand the Nihongo 日本語, I enjoyed the Shakespeare references and only Asian people would understand laughs, as translated to me.
Because of the shortened title, I only realized today that they made it into a tv show!!! Watching Hana Kimi come alive via kawaii-silly-ness inspired me to continue learning the Japanese culture and practicing the language, however tough KanJi 漢字 is proving to be. I understood some of the verbs/adjective and most of the slang. Sensei 先生would be proud!
One of the things I find terribly annoying with double-edged internet is how easily someone can find me. Normally, I don’t care, but when you call my work without my permission, that’s crossing the line scary, psycho!
Today, I received my BNE letter releasing [giving permission] me to take the NCLEX. Should I pass it, I am also allowed to work as a GN ~ graduate nurse. Graduation is still a year away; I still feel as if there’s much more to learn. sigh… I’m not showing off, just really proud of my grades.
My mother and I shared an interesting conversation this afternoon. After agreeing to pay for my car insurance next year, mama showed me her coworker’s pictures from Plaza de San Pedro. My siblings and I have always wondered why mama never once went on vacation. She always strikes all those that really know her to be super spendthrift. Her almost irritating response, that she will not go on a holiday until all four of us graduated college instigates not the usual guilt trip feelings; rather, respect and humility. Now that I received my BNE letter and my grades look better than promising, I have more confidence to offere her a graduation gift.
I promised to take mama to a pilgrimage to the Vatican City a year after graduation [est. Dec 2011]. Who knows, maybe we’ll spend Christmas there? I would like to have my sister come with us as well. Isn’t that someting really good to look forward to?
I miss Cza-Cza, more now that I saw her pre-wedding pics with Raymond. As I drove home aimlessly thru Sugar Land traffic, tears were streaming down my cheeks. Hopefully, she will forgive me one day. In two weeks, my little sister is getting married!!! Truly excited and happy for her.
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